Friday, December 10, 2010

Calvin and Susie - Our Story

It has been a little over five hundred hours since I left Atlanta – my haven for six months. 18000 miles away from home and plenty of time on hand and a bustling community was the perfect cocktail to be in a constant state of mystified mind.

A mystified mind is a provocative one, harasses self with perpetual questions on subjects that you otherwise abandon. But the extravagance of time I had on hand I realize now was certainly a boon for many reasons – the most imperative being the time spent with B, the initial few months into any bond, one would know the vigor of it, would know how long it can be stretched, how deep are you willing to go and most importantly, how much are you willing to let go.

For everything in life, you are taught – from brushing your teeth to saying your prayers before bed, you are taught, but no one prepares you for a relationship that is possibly the most convoluted of all. When we took the plunge six months ago in front of hundreds of people wishing us a great life, we were grateful for their presence, now their wishes have come far and alive. On a lighter note, I suspect that for the Indian system of arranged marriage, one needs the wishes of hundreds of people for it is not easy for two complete strangers to become man and wife just like that.

Luckily for me, B was no stranger. We have known each other from our childhood days; our families were friends for over four decades. Having born in a family that shuns almost every religious festival, my sister and I were always invited over to B’s place to celebrate the festival of lights – Diwali. (Invited is probably a wrong choice of word, ’cause it was as good as celebrating it at one’s home. The tie between two families runs deep.)

I remember playing with him, fighting with him, I remember him as the peace maker when inane fights break between me and my sister (which was quite often when we were young), I remember going with him for movies, of course with family, as we grew and set apart I remember catching up with him at different stages of our pre and post teen life, not once did we ever think that we would end up where we are today.

Proposals came and went for both of us; neither of us was interested in early marriage but certain things we realize are beyond us. One fine day, out of the blue, my mother hesitantly asked what I thought of B. I cannot explain it, but I knew instantly that this was it, I have no rational explanation, I didn’t take the time to think, and my affirmative response was spontaneous, it is something that will puzzle me all my life.

In a couple of days, I heard from B, apparently he wanted to be sure that this was my decision and not forced upon, silly goose. =) He set the butterflies in my stomach free by saying yes, again a feeling that I was not aware of. Well I am still trying to comprehend whether it was fear or excitement. :D Fear some would say who witnessed my break down after marriage showing all signs of PMS – Post Marriage Stress. Well that was an embarrassing chapter; B as always maintained stoic calm and smiled his way through. Within days of marriage I had an episode of food poisoning owing to too much food, B had to leave to the states for lack of leave and I followed fifteen days later to be together. Our journey together started.

We had told each other that there weren’t any expectations, but days into our being together, I realized that isn’t the case. Marriage is a different game; you may enter without expectations but cannot stay like that. Once you have expectations, then comes adjustments, ‘letting go’ is a painful lesson but comes a long way.

A scanty six months into it, we are stronger than before. Our simple rule (unspoken rule) is the basis; talking things out, conversing about it but never argue.

As I write this, I think of him, it is 6.27 pm here; it will be 7.57 am there in Atlanta. He will be fast asleep; he has never been an early bird contrary to what I am. I think of the time spent there, the multitude of restaurants we visited and frequented, the one too many movies we watched, the wonderful trips we have been on, the late night movies at home with the best food and ice cream, the numerous fights we had on silly subjects like “what is golgappa?”, “How to set the oven temperature?”, “Whether Chennai trains pass through the station or park and reverse to their destination?”, “The role of a man and woman” and so much more which right now I am not able to recall. All our fights will/can be resolved only by Google. :D :P Our friends laughed at us, but not a mocking one. Not much has changed for us since our marriage; ‘cause we let each other be and that I believe is the foundation for everything.

It dawns on me that this complicated relationship is not really complex – It is a journey and mine blissfully is with a friend, a good friend.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Sunrise at Appalachian Mountains - Clingman's Dome

Robb Sagendorph – Founder of Yankee Magazine and Editor of Old Farmer’s Almanac famously said:

Climb up on some hill at sunrise. Everybody needs perspective once in a while, and you’ll find it there.

I couldn’t agree more. I have witnessed many sunrises, on many hills, at different points in my life, and every time its magnificence and radiance leaves me astounded. I wouldn’t call myself an early bird but if waking up early means to witness a spectacular sunrise I would do just that.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend and I were having a conversation about the lovely fall colors that decorates the entire Smoky Mountains adding richness to the previously glowing forest. As we spoke we arrived at an appealing idea to see the sunrise at Appalachian Mountains, just the thought of watching the sunrise over the colored dogwood, maple, sassafras and evergreen pines was too fascinating to be missed. As always, wanting to do something is not the same as planning for it. We shuttled the idea back and forth, and one evening while talking to M and R – our good friends, we sealed the plan. R and Balaji were not too kicked about getting up at the unearthly hour but they were equally thrilled.

We tried hard and succeeded in pulling S and K to join us, and I am sure they will curse us for contriving such a plan because they have two young kids under ten and it is no joke to get them to wake up that early and get ready. They rock!

The plan was to wake up at 3 in the morning and drive three and half hours to Clingman’s dome at the Appalachian Mountains just in time for the sunrise. Yes we could have gone there the previous evening and camped but that was not exciting enough.

The day finally arrived. M was the designated driver – with his surprisingly good sense for directions and his guts to break every speed limit on the way not minding the many patrol cars we saw on our way plus the half hour break at waffle house for a very early breakfast at 6 am, we reached Clingman’s Dome in record time with all credit to M and some credit to the coffee I made for M =)

The last fifteen minute of the ride was like one of those police car chases that we see on the idiot box, only this time we were chasing and trying to keep up with the dark sky slowly turning purplish orange. We were tailing a car that I probably could have outrun on my feet, M did his best and gave me assurance that we will be there on Clingman’s peak just in time to see the sunrise. He kept his word.

And what I saw in the next ten minutes listening to Iktara song from Wake up Sid in that freezing cold would last in my mind for a long time. The ebony sky was smeared with orange streaks, golden light rising from below the worn mountains, silhouetting the trees, throwing light on the running river, on the clouds that was to my eye-level, the ebon of the sky slowly turning gray.

The sun rose above the mountains spreading light wide and far…the gray gone and a new day born…

After waiting in the darkness to see the sunrise, the blue of the sky, the brown and green of the mountains, the yellow and orange of the leaves, the white of the clouds,the colors of the rainbow, the colors of the birds, the silver of the gleaming water, the brown of my skin, the red of my cheeks, all the colors of the world felt like a large canvas being painted.

Coming back to what Robb Sagendorph said:

Climb up on some hill at sunrise. Everybody needs perspective once in a while, and you’ll find it there.

Did I gain any shattering perspective? No. But I realized something very simple, that there is so much beauty in this world that we fail to see blaming it on our day to day toil and trouble, but the truth is if we start seeing the beauty in everything around us, we won’t consider the small glitches we have in life as trouble anymore.

Life is what we want it to be: And I intend to keep it beautiful.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Why choose?

Should I choose between being an ascetic and a hedonist? I want to be both.

An ascetic when I want to renounce the comforts and culture and coins and all that is worldly hoping to turn into a natural pearl, not the cultured pearl that we all are, for it isn’t so rare.

A hedonist when I want to indulge in the pleasures of all that life has to offer – Material pleasures, spiritual pleasures, simple pleasures – pleasure of every kind till I spoil myself crazy.

Should I choose between being a stoic and an epicurean? I want to be both.

A stoic when I want to be indifferent to the ways of world, unresponsive to the chaos, least observant to the craftiness of one person over another to yield to their self interest, unflustered by pleasure and pain, caring less about everything and everyone and advocate ‘stoic’ calm.

An Epicurean when I want to mollycoddle my personal self over gourmet food and aged wine and other such delicacies giving in to my gastronome pleasures unconcerned about the predicaments or poverty of people around me.

Should I choose between being an altruistic and an egoist? I want to be both.

An altruistic when I want to be compassionate about not just the people I care about but society in large and not just stop with the rambling of what could people do instead get it down to – What can I do?

An egoist when I want to take pride in things I do and not let people walk over things I care for and candidly love myself for who I am, albeit avoid being a narcissist.

Should I choose between being a Bohemian or a conformist? I want to be both.

A bohemian when I want to break the barrier of what people believe to be right and do what I believe to be right not just to be unconventional but to make a statement that I resolutely have come to believe.

A conformist when I want to avoid stirring controversy on subjects that even the likes of Thoreau and Da vinci who are uncompromising non-conformists not converse about.

Should I choose between being the real me or the ‘me’ that you like me to be? I want to be both.

The real ‘me’ when I want to be.

The’ me’ you like me to be, every time you are around.

Why choose between anything at all?

Is it possible to choose and be steadfast about what you have chosen?

Could you be an altruist and never be an egoist?

Could you be an ascetic and never be a hedonist?

Could you be a stoic and never be an epicurean?

Could you be a bohemian in everything and never be a conformist?

Could you always be ‘you’ and not the ‘you’ people want you to be?

So why choose?

Be what you want to be, when you want to be that,
not what you are expected to be!

The author is not suggesting that the reader adorn a different mask every time concealing the true self, the truth is, it is delusional to think that you can always be one and the same, I am merely suggesting that if you don’t have the pressure of being the one that you chose to be, you will NOT have to carry the one too many hideous masks with you all the time. Then, you will finally be – free and light – Within and out.

Ser uno mismo – amarte a ti mismo

Be yourself – love yourself.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

along you came

Dreams liberal
Life could be a living hell
Nothing is ever the same
In this world

But along you came
Swirling colors
Into my life
Sharing stories
Setting the vibe

Hour-long conversations
Lasts all yearlong
As great friends
We belong –
Life with you in it
Is a birdsong.

Troubled years
Were a storm
You were there
Keeping me calm.

As we grew
We set apart
For we had to
Play our part.

Growing distance
Didn’t matter
Nothing could ever
Stop our banter.

Unspoken words
You knew –
Unvoiced thoughts
You knew –
You know all
There is to know –
About me.
And I, about you.

Dreams liberal
Life is NOT a living hell
With you in my life
Nothing could ever change
In this fine world.

Friday, October 8, 2010

La vita e bella

The late autumn breeze
Just a window away;
Magic brews within
Hearing the birds of song -
Song sparrow,
The blue jays and red robin
If timely, a painted bunting too.

Bare trees
And all the fallen leaves
Reminds me
Life is but brief;

On the gramophone, I play
Pavarotti and Callas
Tebaldi and Carusso
Their music to the soul
Unearthly yet sensual,
Wipes away all loneliness
Lures me into a reverie
A trance so deep,
I get buried.

I wish to stay buried
A little longer
In this daze,
Fallen leaves
Chirping birds
Soothing music
Gentle breeze
This minute lived,
A moment seized,
I assure you
Life may be brief
Beyond doubt

Friday, October 1, 2010

Vita Brevis, Ars longa

With summer long gone
Fall is here to stay
Trees sway
Blowing breeze my way
I see them change colors
Green to yellow to golden to orange and red
At each stage I think
This is as beautiful it can get
Oh how wrong can I be?
I realize fall is its own ace.

I sit by the pool,
Reading Freedom by Franzen
With wind on my face
Chilling my nose and cheek bones
I love that no one is around and
Have the pool all to myself
It starts raining
In a split second
Clouds turn ashen grey
I notice the rain drops splattering
Suddenly the pool is too tempting
I look around one more time and
Love that no one is around
With the wind blowing and the rain pouring
I jump into the pool.

I float
With rain drops on my face
Humming the tune of magic doors
I float.

I open my eyes to see
The ashen clouds moving
Revealing the orangish golden tinted sky
That had a purple outline
Like a child’s quest to pour color carefully
Into the outline
Not wanting to ruin the painting,
The moving of clouds was like
A painting unveiled by the artist
As the last of the light shimmers and fades
With worldly ecstasy – I try to capture all of it
In my mind.
The twilight set in
Leaving no trace of the delicate painting,
I back away from staring
At the new shade of the sky – raven black
Obsessed with wanting more from the artist.

I come out of the water
Every cell in my body shivering
Every bone in my body aching
Knowing that given a chance
I would do it all over again,
For the simplest pleasures of life
Like witnessing a painted sky
Makes an ordinary day, extraordinary.
Like they say,
Veta brevis, ars longa.
Life is short, art is long.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Frozen Memories

In the photographs –
Not just the time freezes
Memories too;
If you look closely at the picture,
You could sense the naked emotions of the people in it;
Perhaps the emotions of the photographer too…
Desperate to capture the moment,
A moment – a happy one or one that need not be lived again,
A moment that can never be revisited,
A moment that was taken ever so lightly - until years later
When you look at the photograph -
You remember the years that have gone by;

Remember the dog that you thought you cannot live without,
A friend that you thought who will always remain in touch with,
Now only beaming at you from the picture you are holding in your hand,
Parents who you took for granted believing they will always be with you,
A child who you assumed would never grow old,
A house that you thought you would always live-in,
A bicycle you believed would take you wherever you want to,
The one eyed teddy bear that you hugged tight every day and kissed good night,
The lop-sided but heartfelt smile you believed you would always have,
Life that you held to be intact, not anymore;

Fixing your gaze on the pictures
You remember all -
With tear filled wrinkled eyes,
You smile the lop sided smile one last time,
Before you put the photographs away – you know
Life moves on, but memories live
Frozen in time yet alive,
Either in albums that is tucked away in a shelf or
As frames on the old wall,
Where they will remain waiting to be looked at –
One more time,
Just one more time –
For a smile through tear filled eyes.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

People come, People go...

Every day in your life, you meet people everywhere. You meet them when you go to office, when you go to a nearby restaurant to have your meal with a friend or a colleague, when you go to the supermarket, when you go to get gas, or even when you simply take a stroll in the road. Everywhere!

Some of them you smile at, some of them you wave at, some of them you stop to say hello and some you walk by ignoring them completely like they never exist.

Some of them you pat their back, some of them you let pat your back, some of them you say cheers with, some of them you fight with.

Some of them you make friends with, some of them you take advantage of, some of them you let take you for a ride, some of them you let down.

Some of them you like but never talk to, some of them you dislike but put up with, some of them you never care for.

One of them you hold hands with, that one person you let your guard down, that one person you decide to grow old with.

Too many of them you stop talking to because you don’t have the time, too many of them stop calling because they don’t have the time.

Sooner or later you will realize life is not worth it without people you care about in it, so some of them you start being in touch with again to revive what is lost.

Some of them you gain back and become conscious of what you missed.

Years will roll by…

Some of them you will lose as they pass into an eternal sleep, of which few of them you will mourn till it is your time to sleep.

The remaining few days you will sit by the patio, and realize the essence of all our lives:

People come, People go!

I kissed my Soul

I was thrilled. When experiencing new things/events, I get a buzz so high that nothing can ever match the feeling. You could imagine my excitement when I say I was going to experience two spectacular things on the same day.

For days together, I looked forward to it. And after what seemed like an eternity, D day came. After a ‘fabulous’ two days at Vegas, we drove down to Grand Canyon of what was going to become one of the most cherished moments of my life. After a not-so-strenuous drive we arrived at our destination.

We were to take a helicopter ride over the canyon, I couldn't’t wait. After watching the two minute video on safety precautions, I wandered restlessly around the gift shop waiting for them to call me to board. My husband unlike me is the patient one; he waited at the lounge with our cousin and friend to be called.

After a little while, a friendly Mexican spat out our names with great difficulty, then buckled the deflated life jacket around my waist just in case! Followed by a quick photo opportunity in front of our to-be helicopter and thirty minute wait with a happy Brazilian couple, we were on board. News is I got to sit in the front next to the pilot, jackpot! There is no place else in the helicopter where you could get the unobstructed view of the canyon.

Only after a couple of seconds of taking off, we could already see the rim of the canyon, as we neared…


I was transfixed by the vastness, grandeur and the silence of the canyon. For a few moments, I sat there with my mouth open gaping at it trying to comprehend what I was seeing, the formations that took billions of years to be what it is today.

Stories about the origin of the Canyon are many. Every tribe that ever made Canyon their home has their own legendary heroes and gods that gave canyon its splendor. There were/is stories about gold and gems and all that is valuable hidden in one of the many caverns in the Canyon, there were/are pursuers who were relentless in their search to find them and in the process sadly even gave their life to what in large seems like a myth. Besides the vastness, the mystery that surrounds the great canyon adds drama to the experience.

It was not until I set my eyes on the canyon I knew what platonic love meant. Music poured, heart was tangled in a web trying to make sense of the unknown. In the presence of such splendor, I wished to unlearn all that I learnt over the years making space for something that sans everything I knew until that moment. I remembered something I read: To not endure is to end in despair. I wished to continue the ride, a journey of no-return, keeping company the waning moon and pass into mere oblivion and be what Dyer – the poet said: My mind to me a kingdom is.

It is humanly impossible to write/capture the essence of the Canyon, but it is true that when I was there flying above the canyon, all the reasons of the world seemed trivial almost non-existent. I still see them, even hear them.

I will forever remember that day, because while gawking at the beauty of Canyon, I KISSED MY SOUL.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

In the Woods

Woke up from a deep slumber,
Treading softly to the patio,
Eager to see what marvel waits today in the woods,
The sun was slowly rising – greeted by
Chirping birds, cawing crows, buzzing insects
And singing myna in the distant;
Trees were still, leaves too,
Silently standing there welcoming the rays of sun,
Like a friend always have;
Misty mountains looked serene,
I sat there motionless gazing at them,
With a cup of hot coffee as my companion fighting the cold wind,
Even the steam that arose from the cup was soothing,
Unspoken words of the woods was simple,
Life back in the concrete jungle seemed insignificant -
Bordering on illusion,
Just the thought of the metropolis brought
Blaring noise in my mind,
I stopped thinking – welcoming the silence of the mind
And tranquility of the woods,
Just here I will remain as I intend to.

Friday, September 3, 2010


As I lay there eyes closed, mind open
Looking back at all the years that have fallen behind me
Musing over the memories – of being high and low
Vividly remembering the infinite options – some taken
But repenting none;
There was always a way I learnt
A lesson that I valued more than life itself –
For that is what is life is about,
Knowing it doesn’t have to be superficial,
That there is always a choice –
A choice that will make all the difference.
One got to be either a theologian or a philosopher to be accepted - One can never have liberal thoughts and worse still share it with someone - I am fairly sure the person who lives by his/her values regardless of what the society thinks is never appreciated - but I wonder if it matters at all.

Examine your presuppositions,
It may just be a delusion of consciousness;
Very often than not,
Reality is never real!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010


Solitude – a monk’s prayer maybe,
Because with it comes knowing the unseen;
To me it is only deafening silence -
Silence so loud, it ruptures the core of soul;
A great void begins to form,
Leading to the depths of all that is vile;
Confused and desolated –
I hope to break out of this melancholy mood,
To be free once again would mean,
I have to kill the screaming silence else,
I will be dying every day I live.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Mind over Matter

Mind and heart at constant war-
A quest of thoughts,
Trying to connect the dots;
Verdict has to be determined,
Who calls for the shots?
Mind and heart still at war...
Will this torment remain a scar?

This unvarying struggle between the mind and heart has always been a mystery to me. Their domination over every thought that originates creates a conflict that sometimes turns into such a raging war which I feel powerless to control or conquer. It doesn’t matter what the thought is all about – of one thing I am sure that the mind and heart is sure to disagree on it.

What is mind really? Where does the thought originate from? Is every thought a feeling or logical reasoning to the situation present? Mind as one would like to believe is an indivisible unit from the body – Descartes would agree. (Will argue whether mind is an indivisible unit later) Whereas heart besides being a muscular organ is the spring of all intuitions and feelings – Anyone would agree.

Once a thought is conceived from nowhere, you as a person are defined by how you process that thought. In my case, when a thought is conceived, I dwell on it, let my intuition judge the thought but parallel to that I will have my mind rationalize it and lose the essence of the thought altogether and end up feeling empty all over again. Not good. After much time spent on this issue, I have come to believe that both Mind and heart is the maker of its own mess. It is both a relative concept that is of course not tangible but invented by us for easier understanding of our complex thinking.

Mind unlike heart is immaterial but equally substantial, so it is but natural that we can be so indecisive sometimes as both mind and heart tries to get the better off each other. The only true way to find a balance is to not let either dominate or not be prejudiced over the role of each. Let both steer your life together for only then will there be awakening, until then it will be nothing but chaos because of the social conditioning of it.

To awaken, put your beliefs and concepts to sleep.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Born Free

Life is not about Voltaire's version of, "Man is born free, but is everywhere seen bound by chains" - it is not! It is more Frank Sinatra's version: Born free and life is worth living, but only worth living Cause you're born free.

We all like to think that we would be living a far better life, a life that we often dream of - if only we had not been bound by societal obligations to do only what is 'right'. Who defines what is right and what is wrong anyways? Here is where one has to understand the conniving mind of a few men whose incessant needs are to label things as right and wrong, primarily to have a hold over the masses. Most of us soak it all in without questioning the reasoning behind it and therefore falling prey to the intentional conditioning of our minds.

How long will it be, before we stop for a minute and realize that whatever we complain of, whatever we whine about, whatever we blame on the society is simply because we need an easy way out by pinning the blame on something so large as society and its conformity!!

Basic problem with us is the chronic need to be 'acceptable' as 'someone' in the society!! The inveterate need to accept and incorrigible need to be acceptable!! In the process losing our sense completely. There is a way out - it is called ' INDEPENDENT THINKING'.

Clear your mind of all the asinine (silly) thoughts and ideologies that you have been tightly holding onto just because you have been taught to do so. Start applying sense to every situation that you come across, do not take a certain decision because that is what is acceptable to society, think what will do you best and accordingly choose. Maybe you will be looked at with contempt or some might think you are impertinent for being so non-conforming/liberal, but it is worth it. End of the day, it pays to live the life you want NOT the life others want you to live.

You were born free, have the will to fly free.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Unsophisticated joie de vivre...

Well I thought the ideal way to start a blog is to write about myself, that way I will find out what I think of myself and also find out how wrong I could be. The story of my life so far is like the title of this post - Unsophisticated joie de vivre. See, the title means a very simple thing - it means 'Simple pleasures of Life'. Yet I choose to make it sound convoluted like it is some sort of French delectable food - like amuse bouche!! (Watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S?)

That wasn't very clear or was it? In case you don't get it, this blog is not for you - because my writing style is not very conventional and most of it will not make sense and I deviate a lot from what I intend to say, just like this.

I have a blessing. When I come across certain phrases that makes a lot of sense, I have the acumen to take it and religiously follow it to the last bit and therefore shine amidst people who do not heed to the philosophies of great men. One such great man was Harry Truman. I am sure you have heard of his legendary statement - "If you can't convince them, confuse them". And yes I do that, a LOT. And since this world almost always produces good speakers and hardly ever great listeners - I survive with all the crap I say - well just about. Some friends of mine do know what I am capable of but most importantly - of what I am not.

I always imagined that on many occasions luck was favoring me. I will be honest - I not just imagined, I knew luck was my thing. Because beautiful things happened to me without the slightest effort from my side. I secretly took refuge in it until I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and as always good things come in the form of gifts from great friends. I realized that it was not luck; it was sheer positive attitude that kept me a wee bit ahead in the rat race sometimes which I am obviously happy about, although time and again I do wonder if all this race that I compete for is worth the time?!

I love having tete-a-tete with people from diverse fields, I love having many friends, I love meeting people in random places and just talk to them about arbitrary topics.. See my problem? No? Well I will make it easier for you to understand and become judgemental about me. I make friends but I have a hard time keeping up with their lives - I forget birthdays, I forget anniversaries, well I just about forget to wish on most occasions, I rarely return calls, I seldom reply to messages, I promise a lot but deliver few, overall I disappoint them a lot. Of course I am ashamed to say this; But hey common, all of us have our flaws but at least I admit it. But It is true that I genuinely care for them - now don't smirk when you are reading this, yes I forget special occasions but not intentionally - but I do know that when they need me most I will be there no matter what. For some people, I will do more than just being with them when they need me most.

Ever heard of J.R.R.Tolkien? Would it help if I mention he is the author of 'Lord of the Rings'? Well, he made this statement, more like a declaration. It goes like this - "If more of us valued food and song and cheer above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." Who can deny that? Although I believe a teensy bit alteration to the statement would make it much more meaningful - If more of us valued food and song and BOOK above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. Well consider this - what can food and song and book bring? Food for thought!!

Once someone asked me this - When was the last time you did something for the first time. When I heard it, it felt like a revelation. I realized that minute that how much time I have been wasting doing nothing but unimportant-not-so-exciting routine and how much I had missed already. I took a oath then, that I Saranya would find time even in the most difficult times to do things that will involve new experiences and savor more of this life and care less about what others have got to say and also told myself that I would not allow anyone or anything to take that freedom of will away from me.

If you noticed, the title of this post has got nothing to do with what I wanted to say. I just needed an excuse to use some exotic words just to prep it up. Do you realize we all do this at various points in our life where we exaggerate simple things just to make it look better, nicer and in some case to make it look worse than the situation actually is. Do you know what, it is not the exotic things that you do or say for which people remember you, they remember you for the simple things you do and the simple words that come out of you genuinely without mincing words. When I do learn this, I will be a far better person.

I started off saying I want to write about me, going back to what I have typed here I realize that, it hardly tells you the person that I am but if you know me already, you would not have expected anything more.
It has been a while since I even visited my blog. Though there were a lot of occasions which demanded blog-time I simply didn't have the will to put my mind on it. Well I don't want this to become one of those things which I start with full enthusiasm only to not care about it later. So here I am forcing myself to type whatever comes to mind thereby shrewdly optimizing office time.

I often wonder why do I even attempt doing this. Who do I want to read my blog? Would I like to share it with everyone? Or only with a few people whom I can trust? What do I want to talk about? Well, most people will not agree to whatever you say, in that case is it worth writing one? I have no idea why I want to do this. There is purely no reason and for that very same reason, I like doing this. I know It doesn't make sense but that is the whole point.